I'm Zach. I love movies and stuff. I have a podcast on the internet (available for free on iTunes. Tell your friends, family and pets) that's pretty much above average. Some would say it's pretty good. I dream of someday writing and directing movies, but for now I sometimes go to school and spend my nights taking pizza to people's houses. Sometimes, I say things that make people laugh.

 

Dearest people of tumblr,

zachbirman:

More of you need to follow me. It makes me feel better about myself and it helps reflect how awesome and sexy I am.

Thanks,
Zach 

Dear past me,

Don’t worry, you stop being such a twat.

zachbirman:

I would give my life for her. I would sell my soul to be with her again. I do everything for her. Why isn’t that good enough?

Dear past me,

It’s not good enough because she turns out to be a psychopath. Legitimately. I’m not exaggerating with that. She drains the life out of you for her own benefit and leaves you with nothing. Don’t be sad, though. I’m working on some brilliant writing projects that will turn it into something good.

zachbirman:

Rachel makes me want to die

Dear past me,

That really only gets worse. She basically ends up killing you. Not physically, socially and emotionally. You meet better people, though, and learn to hate her like you should.

zachbirman:

I am in a great deal of physical pain right now. I don’t know why. It’s intensely painful

Dear past me, 
You will ignore that for about a year and then find out it’s a hernia. You will be stuck in bed recovering for several weeks and never get back into the groove of working out again and gain all that weight back. You stupid jackass.

zachbirman:

If the things I care most about always go away, why do I care at all?

Dear past me,
You stop caring at all. It’s not as appealing as it sounds.

zachbirman:

I amazing how things went from terrible to perfect. And from perfect to bad. And from bad to worse. I’m not sure how to deal with this

Dear past me,
Your grammar sucks, first of all. Secondly, you deal with it by continuing to allow that person into your life until she sucks it all out of you. Through your penis. So, at least there is that silver lining. 

To Whom it May Concern

zachbirman:

You’re an asshole. I hate you. And if you even THINK about laying a single FINGER on her I will make your life a living Hell. That is a promise

Dear past me,
You got back at him. It was satisfying as Hell.

jamesfactscalvin:

officialnatasharomanoff:

project-blackbird:

Emily Vancamp as Sharon Carter in “Captain America: The Winter Soldier”

Here’s an example of what we call a “soft no”. Sharon turns down Steve’s offer in a way that’s meant not to insult him but never actually uses the word “no”.

Steve clearly gets the message, though, and importantly offers to leave her alone. Sharon’s comment afterwards gives him an opportunity to try again later, but he doesn’t press and respects her rejection of his company even though it’s probably hurt his feelings a bit.

Just in case you ever wonder “What would Captain America do?”; there you go.

never do something steve rogers wouldn’t do.

Unless it’s jumping out of a plane without a parachute, you probably shouldn’t do that

Yeah, but she later shoots him to death, which might be the hardest of nos.

(Source: reservoir-of-blood)

"It’s a good vantage point. You can see the whole city. Like a bird on a wire."

Plot twist: it actually translates to “worst fucking character on the show”. Some translations also include “couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag” or “has less emotion than Kristen Stewart”

(Source: cophines)